Did you know that more than 40 percent of marriages end up in divorce?
That’s a heartbreaking statistic, yet one that need not apply to you and your relationship.
Dating, mating and falling in love is the fun part. Staying in love and making a relationship last long-term is more like rewarding work, and sometimes we don’t have the tools we need.
Relationships go through stages often including a “power struggle” stage. This is when you start to discover that your partner is not going to magically fix all of your problems, like you hoped they would. At this stage couples might start to quarrel, and if the criticism and defensiveness goes on long enough it can cause permanent damage to a relationship.
Couples can learn to connect more deeply, communicate their needs in healthy ways, to listen and validate each other, and understand what is going on beneath the noise and discord.
My mission will be to create a space where you will feel welcomed, accepted and safe. I will offer support as we identify your goals and needs and how we can work together to help you achieve them.
Openness, honesty and commitment on behalf of both people are the best things you can bring to couples counseling. Often the process itself works to deepen these.
Sometimes, as in any form of therapy, things initially might feel worse before they get better. This makes sense, as couples often don’t recognize underlying causes for problems or how to address them and let’s face it, working through problems can be difficult. And, it can be tremendously rewarding in the long run.
Often getting to the root cause of discord in a relationship involves learning from our pasts and seeing how you and your partner learned to cope, adapt and survive to get your needs met. This can lead to meaningful healing, learning and deeper love and connection to self and your partner. It can be like discovering the hidden gold in your relationship.
The answer is, it depends. Ideally, couples counseling is strategic and focused on efficiently helping couples achieve their relationship goals. In some cases it may take 8 to 12 sessions. If depression, substance abuse or other mental health challenges are part of the dynamic, it could take longer and in some instances, addictions, abuse and affairs may even counter-indicate effective couples counseling until those issues are addressed.
Growing as a couple and getting to the point of wanting a deeper commitment and possibly marriage, is an exciting time full of hope and expectations. It can also create reveal expectations and worries as you anticipate moving into a new life chapter together.
Premarital counseling can help you build upon your strengths, learn tools you didn’t have before and strengthen connection so you can create a marriage or relationship with joy and meaning.
Couples who engage in premarital counseling are better equipped and less likely to divorce. It is a wise investment in your lives together.