Couples Counseling in Orange County CA
When you are stuck in the same arguments, walking on eggshells, or feeling more like roommates than partners, it can start to feel scary and lonely. If you live in or around Orange County and your relationship feels strained, couples counseling can help you slow things down, reconnect, and decide how you want to move forward together.
Are you and your partner struggling with communication, trust, or feeling emotionally disconnected?
Many couples I see are not “broken.” They are exhausted. They have tried to talk, tried to avoid conflict, tried to fix things on their own, and still feel stuck.
You might notice:
- Arguments that circle around the same topics without resolution
- Feeling unheard, blamed, or shut down
- Loneliness in the relationship even when you are physically together
- Loss of intimacy, affection, or playfulness
- Old hurts or betrayals that keep resurfacing
Couples counseling gives you a structured space to understand what is happening underneath the fights and distance, and to practice new ways of relating in real time.
Why couples counseling?
Falling in love is usually easy. Building a life together in Orange County, with work, family, stress, and history in the mix, is more complex. Many relationships move into a “power struggle” stage where you realize your partner cannot quietly fix all of your pain, and you cannot fix theirs.
Without support, this often leads to criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, or withdrawal. Over time, those patterns can erode trust and safety.
In couples counseling we will:
- Identify the cycle you get pulled into when you are in conflict
- Slow that cycle down so you can see what is underneath it
- Practice clearer communication and listening on both sides
- Explore how past experiences show up in your current relationship
- Strengthen connection, respect, and a sense of being on the same team
My goal is to create a space where both of you feel welcomed, accepted, and safe enough to be honest and to experiment with change.
What to know before attending couples counseling in California
The best things you can bring to couples counseling are openness, honesty, and a willingness to stay engaged, even when it feels uncomfortable. It is common for things to feel more intense at first as you begin to name patterns that have been there for a long time.
We will often look at how each of you learned to cope, adapt, and protect yourselves in earlier relationships and families, and how those strategies are now affecting your partnership. This can feel vulnerable, but it is also where many couples discover a path to deeper understanding and repair.
Couples counseling is not about deciding who is “the problem.” It is about understanding how the relationship works in both directions, and how each of you can take responsibility for your part in the dynamic.
How long does couples counseling take?
There is no fixed timeline, but we will be strategic and focused. Many couples who come in for couples therapy in Orange County attend weekly sessions for a period of time, then taper as things stabilize.
For some couples, 8 to 12 sessions is enough to address a specific concern and build new habits. When there are additional factors such as depression, substance use, trauma, or an affair, the work may take longer and we may coordinate with individual therapy or other supports.
We will discuss your goals and check in regularly about how the process is going so you have a clear sense of progress.
Premarital counseling
Premarital counseling is a chance to strengthen your foundation before making a long term commitment. Many couples in Los Alamitos, Costa Mesa, and across Orange County use premarital sessions to talk about topics that are easy to put off, such as money, families, boundaries, intimacy, and long term plans.
Together we can:
- Clarify expectations around roles, responsibilities, and decision making
- Develop ways to handle conflict that feel respectful and clear
- Talk honestly about values, faith, culture, and big life choices
- Build skills for staying connected when life becomes stressful or busy
Couples who invest in premarital counseling are often better prepared for the normal challenges that show up in marriage and long term partnership.
Some things to consider before starting couples therapy
If we decide to work together, I will ask each of you to take risks and to stretch beyond your comfort zone. That might mean expressing feelings you usually hide, listening without interrupting, or trying a new response in moments when you would normally shut down or leave.
At times, you may feel frustrated with me or with the process. That is normal. If you allow me to coach you through those moments, your patterns can begin to shift. Over time, you can each become more like the partner you want to be and the partner your relationship needs.
New awareness + new behaviors = growth
It is very common for each person to quietly hope the other will change first. You may catch yourself thinking, “If they would just listen, calm down, or be more affectionate, things would be fine.”
In our work I will invite each of you to commit to autonomous change. That means taking responsibility for your own reactions and growth, regardless of whether your partner changes at the same pace.
I will also help each of you notice how your protective strategies, such as defensiveness, withdrawal, or criticism, may have once helped you cope but now get in the way of feeling close. With compassion and without judgment, we will explore where those patterns come from and what else might be possible.
The more both of you can see how you contribute to the dynamic and work as a team, the faster your relationship can begin to heal.
You do not have to figure this out alone
If you are wondering whether counseling will help, that question itself can be a good starting point. You do not have to decide the future of your relationship before reaching out.
Let’s take the first step together. Call (714) 388-6457 so we can schedule a consultation and see whether couples counseling with me is a good fit for you.
From my offices in Los Alamitos and Costa Mesa, I offer marriage and couples counseling in Orange County and online across California.
Couples Counseling in Los Alamitos and Costa Mesa
I meet with couples by appointment at both of my Orange County offices:
Los Alamitos Office:
5212 Katella Avenue, Suite 103B
Los Alamitos, CA 90720
Costa Mesa Office:
3001 Red Hill Ave, Suite 216
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
Many couples find me while searching for couples therapy Orange County, couples counseling Costa Mesa, or couples counseling Los Alamitos. Clients also come from nearby communities such as Irvine, Santa Ana, Huntington Beach, Anaheim, Orange, and Newport Beach.
Online sessions are also available within California when travel is difficult or distance is a factor.