Sex & Porn Addiction Therapy in Orange County, CA

When Sex, Porn, and Intimacy No Longer Line Up

For many people I see in Orange County, sex and intimacy have drifted into two separate worlds:

The secret sexual life: porn, apps, anonymous hookups, paid sex, chemsex, endless fantasy
The public life: partner, kids, career, community, faith, reputation

You might notice:

Sex feels intense in the moment but repetitive, empty, or disturbing afterward
You feel more attached to your screen or strangers than to your partner
You chase more extreme or risky situations just to feel anything
You’re constantly managing lies, cover stories, and a double life

You’re not the only one dealing with this in Orange County. But you also don’t have to keep living in this loop.

What Is Compulsive Sexual Behavior (Sex Addiction)?

Compulsive sexual behavior — often called sex addiction, porn addiction, or hypersexuality — is not about “liking sex too much.” It’s about feeling driven to sexual thoughts, porn, or behavior in ways that feel out of control and create real consequences in your everyday life.

You might:

Spend a lot of time thinking about, planning, or engaging in sexual behavior
Try to cut back repeatedly but can’t follow through, even after serious consequences
Use sex, porn, or fantasy to numb out stress, anxiety, depression, or loneliness
Feel powerful or soothed in the moment, then flooded with shame or disgust afterward
Hide your behavior from partners, friends, coworkers, or your spiritual community

As a sex addiction therapist in Orange County, I’m not here to slap a label on you. Together, we look at what’s actually happening in your body, mind, and relationships so we can decide what “compulsive” or “addictive” means for you.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Let’s take the first step together. Call so we can schedule a consultation.

Signs You May Be Dealing with Sex or Porn Addiction in Orange County

Every person’s pattern is different, but many of my clients recognize some of these:

Sex, porn, or fantasy taking over your time — hours lost to porn, apps, messaging, or planning encounters, often late at night or on “lunch breaks”
Escalation — needing more novelty, intensity, or risk to get the same effect
Failed attempts to stop — setting rules for yourself and repeatedly breaking them
Using sex as medication — acting out when you’re stressed, anxious, depressed, or feeling empty
Risky situations — unprotected sex, anonymous hookups, sex while high, or meeting people in unsafe places
Life consequences — tension or betrayal in your relationship, performance issues at work, financial fallout, health scares
Double life — hiding, deleting, compartmentalizing, and feeling like no one really knows you

Common behaviors that may be part of a compulsive pattern include:

Excessive porn use and masturbation
Hookup apps and anonymous sex across Orange County and beyond
Paying for sex, strip clubs, massage parlors, cam sites
Sexting, erotic chat, cybersex, or phone sex that spirals out of control
Sex combined with drugs or alcohol (chemsex, party-and-play)
Affairs and chronic infidelity

Any one of these by itself does not automatically equal “addiction.” What matters is loss of control, the impact on your life, and how you feel before, during, and after.

Why It’s Not Just “Willpower” (And Why You Can’t Just Stop)

If you live anywhere from Newport Beach to Anaheim, you’re surrounded by easy access to porn, apps, bars, clubs, and parties. But access alone isn’t the full story.

During sexual arousal and orgasm, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin. These are designed to reward bonding and pleasure. When sexual stimulation becomes your main way to cope, escape, or feel alive, your nervous system starts to treat it like a drug.

Over time, you may:

Need more frequent or intense stimulation to get the same relief
Feel restless, numb, or irritable without constant sexual fantasy or activity
Experience cravings and withdrawal-like symptoms when you try to stop

Add in substances like meth, cocaine, GHB, ecstasy, alcohol, or marijuana, and the cycle gets even stronger and more dangerous. For many LGBTQ clients, chemsex and nightlife are wrapped up with community and belonging, which can make change even more complicated.

In therapy, we treat this as a real pattern in your brain and body — not as a moral failure.

Why You Might Be Struggling: Risk Factors for Sex Addiction

People all over Orange County struggle with compulsive sexual behavior — from students and professionals to parents and retirees. Some common contributing factors:

Trauma and abuse: childhood sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, or chronic invalidation
Family history of addiction: substances, gambling, rigid secrecy, or high control environments
Co-occurring mental health issues: depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, ADHD
Substance use: alcohol and drugs lowering inhibitions and reinforcing acting out
Easy access: hookup apps, porn, and anonymous online platforms available 24/7 on your phone
Identity and shame: homophobia, transphobia, religious guilt, or pressure to appear “perfect” in OC culture

Understanding why you landed in this pattern doesn’t excuse harmful choices, but it gives us a roadmap for where to work so that change actually sticks.

Is It Sex Addiction or Just a Strong Sex Drive?

This question comes up all the time, especially in Orange County where many people are navigating religious, cultural, or family expectations around sex.

In working together, I will not call you a sex addict just because:

You’re queer, trans, non-binary, kinky, poly, or non-monogamous
You enjoy frequent sex or porn in a way that is consensual, honest, and aligned with your values
Your fantasies or desires don’t match what you were taught growing up

My approach is sex-positive and LGBTQ-affirming. The issue isn’t how much sex you want; it’s whether your sexual behavior feels compulsive, secretive, risky, or out of alignment with the life you actually want to live in Orange County.

How Sex & Porn Addiction Therapy in Orange County Helps

Therapy for compulsive sexual behavior is not about shaming you or forcing you into a rigid template. It’s about helping you:

Understand your acting-out cycle and what sets it in motion
Interrupt the pattern before you lose control
Reduce secrecy so you no longer have to live a double life
Heal shame, trauma, and loneliness instead of numbing them
Repair trust with yourself and, when possible, with partners
Create a version of sex and intimacy that feels grounded, honest, and alive

Individual Psychotherapy

In one-on-one therapy at my Orange County offices or online, we’ll map out:

Exactly what your pattern looks like (porn, apps, hookups, paid sex, chemsex, emotional affairs, etc.)
How it starts (triggers, emotions, stories, body sensations)
What you’re getting from it (escape, intensity, validation, numbness, control)
What it’s costing you (relationships, self-respect, energy, time, money, health)

From there we build a realistic recovery plan that fits your real life in Orange County instead of crushing you with impossible rules.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT can help you:

Catch the thinking patterns that keep you stuck (“I already blew it today, so who cares?”)
Challenge core shame beliefs (“I’m disgusting,” “If people knew the truth, they’d leave”)
Develop alternative coping strategies when urges spike
Build daily habits that support stability, not chaos

EMDR and Trauma-Informed Therapy

If your sexual behavior is tied to trauma, neglect, or chronic shame, EMDR and other trauma-informed approaches can help your nervous system finally process what’s been stuck.

Clients often report:

Less intense flashbacks, body memories, or shame spirals
More space between trigger and acting out
A more grounded, compassionate relationship with themselves

Couples Sessions and Relationship Repair

If your partner has discovered your sexual behavior, there’s usually a lot of anger, shock, and grief. As a sex addiction therapist in Orange County, I also work with couples who want a structured way to address the impact and decide what’s next.

Couples work can help you:

Have hard conversations in a contained, supportive setting
Understand how compulsive sexual behavior develops — without excusing it
Create clear, realistic boundaries and agreements going forward
Explore whether and how trust and intimacy can be rebuilt

Support Groups and Community Resources

Many clients combine sex addiction therapy with support groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or other recovery communities in Orange County and online. I can help you:

Decide whether a 12-step or alternative group is a good fit for you
Integrate group work with your individual therapy
Navigate spiritual and religious questions in a way that honors your beliefs and identity

What to Expect When You Work with Me

Initial Consultation
We talk about what’s happening now, what you’re afraid of losing, and what you want instead. No pressure to commit to a label.
Assessment & Pattern Mapping
We clarify your acting-out cycle, triggers, history, and current realities in your work, relationships, and community.
Stabilizing and Harm Reduction
We address immediate risks (health, legal, relational, work-related) and create short-term strategies to keep you safer.
Recovery Plan
We define what “sobriety,” “recovery,” or “healthy sexuality” means for you. For some, that involves periods of abstinence from specific behaviors; for others, it means clear, sustainable boundaries.
Deeper Healing
As things stabilize, we work with trauma, shame, identity conflicts, and attachment wounds that keep fueling the cycle.
Maintenance & Growth
We build long-term tools for relapse prevention, communication, boundaries, and a more integrated, honest life in Orange County.

Sex & Porn Addiction Therapist in Orange County, CA

If you’re reading this with a knot in your stomach, you probably already know this has gone too far. You don’t have to figure out the next step by yourself.

I offer:

In-person sex and porn addiction therapy in Orange County at my Los Alamitos and Costa Mesa offices
Online therapy across California if you prefer to meet from home or can’t get to the office regularly
LGBTQ-affirming, sex-positive, trauma-informed care that makes room for your whole story

Whether you’re in Los Alamitos, Costa Mesa, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, Irvine, Anaheim, Long Beach, or anywhere in Orange County, help is available.